Sunday, May 04, 2008
i figured i don't really know how to express myself. unless its just screaming and laughing; that is easy.
i can't say "are you okay?" . i don't like saying it, although i don't mind people saying it to me, it's quite pointless don't you think. i don't like saying "dont cry alr lah.." i just can't say it out lah, as in i do sometimes when i feel really awkward standing there. but then, it's just not right for me.
i know that asking if we're okay is just concerning lah, but then.. what the hell, obviously not right. and its worse if they keep asking are you sure, sure not, really ah. i think i'm damn weird.. who the heck thinks this way. and if i really say what i think out loud right, i think they will just trample on my wound and stomp off. lionel told me he always feel like saying "you want try not?!" whenever people CONTINUOUSLY ask if he is okay.. but then people would just retort like they are just concerning, so boxim or whatever.
and the crying thing.. i think in my whole life i've never asked someone not to cry. cos i think it's really damn pekchek then will cry one what, how can just ask them not to cry.. if i just cried right, i think i will go on for ages and ages, cos its like letting out alot at one time.. damn suck but yes. i find it hard to express myself lehhhhhhs. so shit, so i just keep everything in.. maybe i'll just explode and disappear. ok why am i saying this all out. its spposed to be private wahahah.
anw, andy hope your bruises heal soon. i felt so awkward can, just standing there, looking at everyone crowding over you asking if you're alright. i mean i've no idea what's wrong with me.. i felt really sad okay, and concerned.. but i can't seem to just say it out. i didn't even want to see it lah, and before that you were so happy and smiley. all i could do was just to just give you my iced mineral water and sit beside you.
the other time i was also scolded lah, cos i just stood there and look and didnt do anything. you all dont know okay, im not like you. dont act like you know me very well.
i can't say "are you okay?" . i don't like saying it, although i don't mind people saying it to me, it's quite pointless don't you think. i don't like saying "dont cry alr lah.." i just can't say it out lah, as in i do sometimes when i feel really awkward standing there. but then, it's just not right for me.
i know that asking if we're okay is just concerning lah, but then.. what the hell, obviously not right. and its worse if they keep asking are you sure, sure not, really ah. i think i'm damn weird.. who the heck thinks this way. and if i really say what i think out loud right, i think they will just trample on my wound and stomp off. lionel told me he always feel like saying "you want try not?!" whenever people CONTINUOUSLY ask if he is okay.. but then people would just retort like they are just concerning, so boxim or whatever.
and the crying thing.. i think in my whole life i've never asked someone not to cry. cos i think it's really damn pekchek then will cry one what, how can just ask them not to cry.. if i just cried right, i think i will go on for ages and ages, cos its like letting out alot at one time.. damn suck but yes. i find it hard to express myself lehhhhhhs. so shit, so i just keep everything in.. maybe i'll just explode and disappear. ok why am i saying this all out. its spposed to be private wahahah.
anw, andy hope your bruises heal soon. i felt so awkward can, just standing there, looking at everyone crowding over you asking if you're alright. i mean i've no idea what's wrong with me.. i felt really sad okay, and concerned.. but i can't seem to just say it out. i didn't even want to see it lah, and before that you were so happy and smiley. all i could do was just to just give you my iced mineral water and sit beside you.
the other time i was also scolded lah, cos i just stood there and look and didnt do anything. you all dont know okay, im not like you. dont act like you know me very well.